There was always a space waiting for me

Drove into New York a few times this week to get my visa squared away for Shanghai travel and China exploration. It was solo which was romantic at first but only so much in that it felt like running. When you start running whatever it is that you are running from catches up to you. Maybe when you're young you can get lost in the scenery and it makes you forget for a little longer. But I'm more grown now and reality sunk in when I slept in my truck thinking about the warm bed with Sofia at home.

The connection between us people comes like waves, like two contacts between circular intervals. When we fall apart we can revel in it or suffer over it, then--if we can accept it--connect again. When we communicate we allow that connection to ease the tension of our rotation. It's like we come back home on the outbreadth and say, "I see you and am ready for this connection."

Kind of a vague Buddhist influenced post... My cheap interpretations that help me make it through I guess.

Morning on Monday

Here I am sitting here in the morning at 8:49. Today is packed full of little tasks that would have been impossible to do leisurely if I was still shackled to a 40 hour 9:00-5:00 slog. Fuck I still get shudders thinking about that life.
There are droves of people I know--and admittedly can't stop caring about--who would fritz out knowing that I do not have to work or suffer right now - an absolute dissipation of respect. All of me would be reduced to cold threatening privilege. Even now I get a shudder of guilt, something in line with their sentiments I'm sure, that I can enjoy the day-to-day. I do not have to sit and listen to an idiot tell me how to do something I already know how to do, or can independently find out a way to do, or (most importantly) see no need to do. People do not like me for that.
Simultaneously people are envious of that and love me for it. Like some kind of ego trip when our external identities are vibing and we feel in tune I am the coolest, the most desirable, but when we are at odds - oh shit! I am the scum of the earth. Hell, maybe the dirty work times were just the same.

Today continues the preparations for China. I'll be visiting Erick and Peter who are teaching little Chinese babies English.
A key component of my trip will be visiting important Chinese Buddhist sites throughout the north of the country. So far I intend to travel to the sacred Mount Wutai and the Longmen Grottoes. Shit, I'll probably go to Mao's Palace too.

The morning is quiet here like most mornings.
The dog is back.She rests lightly pressed against your thigh when she sleeps.
She'll make everything a little more calm I think.

Our Song

Breathing in, I am breathing in
Breathing out, I am breathing out
In
Out

Breathing in, my breath grows deep
Breathing out, my breath goes slow
Deep
Slow

Breathing in, I feel calm
Breathing out, I feel ease
Calm
Ease

All phenomena are temporary
They are subject to birth and death
When you remove notions of birth and death
The silence is called great joy

What are we to do with the creation of the eternal All before us everyday expanding and contracting above our heads in the heavens and in the unfathomable seas in our bodies? There is wonder in knowing that reverberations make us cry and laugh and that our deepest rage is the same that moved everything into itself from the void. Flickers of joy the same that lit the first movement of what we call life, sighs of relief the calm of death. We are everything and nothing, light twisting the darkness, the center flowing inward.

The lillies neither toil nor spin

"They are one in the same - Daily Work and Dirty Work."

"If it's Dirty Work equals Daily Work and if tomorrow is another day and if you are talking about people who will float in the self-contemplation or self-expression, who is going to do the Daily Work or doesn't the Daily Work need to be done?"

"Well that is a very interesting and profound question. You see, Jesus said, 'Look at the lillies in the field. They neither toil not spin.' And the thought behind it is that we are creating this work not because it has to be done but because we are busy bodies and do not know how to swim on the river of life. And we prefer a kind of senseless insect activity to a genuine activity which may often be no activity or inaction - do you see? I don't say to be quiet or to do nothing. I don't say that at all. But I do say it should have sense, it should have meaning what we do - you see? And the greater part of what we do everyday has damned little meaning." 

John Fahey is the sound of the void

Death Chants, Break Downs & Military Waltzes

by John Fahey 

1. "Sunflower River Blues"
2. "When the Springtime Comes Again"
3. "Stomping Tonight on the Pennsylvania/Alabama Border"
4. "Some Summer Day"
5. "On the Beach at Waikiki"
6. "Spanish Dance"
7. "The Downfall of the Adelphi Rolling Grist Mill"
8. "John Henry Variations"
9. "Take a Look at That Baby"
10. "Dance of the Inhabitants of the Palace of King Phillip XIV"
11. "America"
12. "Episcopal Hymn" (based on "At the name of Jesus" by Ralph Vaughan Williams)

Bandit and a Heartbreaker

Had some good influences this week. More books and music to come.

Merry Christmas.

 

Maus

by Art Spiegelman

The Psychedelic Furs

by The Psychedelic Furs

 

 

Ritual Lo Habitual

by Jane's Addiction

 

Judee Sill

by Judee Sill

 

 

Creative Destruction

The shop is starting to come together slowly but surely. There is not enough bench space currently to get any real work done... even if I did have the time or organization of thought to do anything.

Actually, fuck it, I've barely started putting my work space together. As with most of my accomplishments lately I'm still in the tear down phase. Creative destruction maturing in - I don't fucking know when.

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